Being a Rainmaker: How I'm Creating Positive Change Through Strengths-Based Coaching

When I think of a rainmaker, I don't picture someone in a suit closing million-dollar deals. I picture someone who brings life-giving water to parched ground—someone who creates the conditions for growth where it seemed impossible before.

That's what I'm building with my coaching practice: a space where families and neurodivergent individuals can flourish by focusing on their inherent strengths rather than trying to fix perceived deficits. It's about creating positive change one conversation, one reframe, one celebration of difference at a time.

From Drought to Growth

For too long, I lived in my own drought. Decades of being told my body was wrong, my emotions were too much, my way of being needed constant correction. I spent years trying to shrink myself to fit spaces that weren't designed for me, believing that belonging required diminishment.

When my stepdaughter entered our family, I witnessed her navigating similar terrain—a brilliant neurodivergent mind in a world built for neurotypical thinking. I watched her mask her authentic self, exhaust herself trying to appear "normal," and internalize messages that her natural way of processing the world was somehow problematic.

That's when I realized: the drought wasn't about us. It was about systems that focus on what's missing instead of what's magnificent.

The Shift to Strengths

Traditional approaches to neurodivergence often start with deficits: What needs to be fixed? What behaviors should be eliminated? How can we make this person appear more typical? It's the same mentality I encountered in diet culture—the assumption that natural human variation is inherently problematic.

But what if we flipped the script? What if instead of asking "What's wrong?" we asked "What's strong?"

This shift became the foundation of my coaching practice. When I work with neurodivergent individuals and their families, we start with strengths inventory:

• What does this mind do brilliantly? Pattern recognition, deep focus, creative problem-solving, attention to detail, passionate expertise?

• How do these traits serve them? That "obsessive" interest might be the pathway to career fulfillment. That sensitivity to sensory input might create artistic gifts or environmental awareness.

• Where do they already shine? Often, neurodivergent individuals are succeeding in areas their families don't even recognize as strengths.

Creating Rain in Parched Places

Being a rainmaker means identifying where growth is possible and creating the conditions for it to happen. In my practice, this looks like:

Helping families shift their language from deficit-focused to strength-focused. Instead of "She can't sit still," we explore "She thinks better when she moves." Instead of "He's obsessed with trains," we celebrate "He has developed deep expertise in his area of passion."

Supporting neurodivergent individuals in recognizing their own capacity rather than focusing on where they fall short of neurotypical expectations. We work on self-advocacy, boundary-setting, and finding environments where their strengths can flourish.

Creating bridges between different neurotypes in families. Often, neurotypical family members need support understanding that different doesn't mean deficient—that accommodating neurodivergent needs isn't "enabling" but recognizing natural human variation.

The Ripple Effect

What I've discovered is that this strengths-based approach creates a ripple effect. When a neurodivergent child sees their intense interests as superpowers rather than problems, their confidence soars. When parents learn to celebrate their child's unique wiring, family dynamics transform. When individuals stop masking their authentic selves, they find their people—their communities of belonging.

I've watched clients go from seeing their ADHD as a liability to leveraging their ability to hyperfocus on meaningful projects. I've supported families in moving from constant conflict to genuine appreciation of their neurodivergent member's gifts. I've witnessed young people who felt broken discover they weren't broken at all—they were just planted in the wrong soil.

My Own Rain Dance

Building this practice has been my own kind of rain dance—calling forth the conditions for positive change in a world that often pathologizes difference. It's meant:

• Challenging conventional wisdom about what neurodivergent individuals need (hint: it's usually not more compliance training)

• Advocating for accommodations that honor different neurotypes rather than forcing conformity

• Creating safe spaces where families can explore strengths without judgment

• Connecting clients with neurodiversity-affirming resources and communities

Every time a client discovers a strength they didn't know they had, every time a family shifts from conflict to celebration, every time someone learns to advocate for their needs—that's rain falling on parched ground.

The Intersection of Journeys

My experience navigating body acceptance and my stepdaughter's journey with neurodivergence aren't separate stories—they're interconnected examples of how our culture pathologizes natural human variation. Both required learning to trust internal wisdom over external judgment, to celebrate difference rather than apologize for it, to find communities that see wholeness rather than brokenness.

This intersection gives me a unique perspective in my coaching. I understand the exhaustion of masking, the pain of being reduced to a single story, the relief of finding spaces where you can exist without editing yourself. Whether someone is struggling with body acceptance, neurodivergent identity, or family dynamics around difference, the core work is similar: shifting from deficit to strength, from shame to celebration, from isolation to belonging.

The Daily Practice of Change

Being a rainmaker isn't about grand gestures—it's about daily practices that create conditions for growth:

• Listening for strengths in every story, even when clients can only see struggles

• Reframing challenges as information about needed accommodations rather than personal failures

• Celebrating small wins that might seem insignificant to others but represent major shifts in self-perception

• Connecting individuals with communities where their differences are valued

• Advocating for system changes in schools, workplaces, and healthcare settings

An Invitation to Dance

If you're reading this and recognizing your own parched places—whether as a neurodivergent individual, a family member, or someone navigating any form of difference—I want you to know: the rain is possible. The drought doesn't have to be permanent.

Sometimes we need someone to help us see the strengths we've been conditioned to ignore, to celebrate the gifts we've been taught to hide, to imagine environments where we can flourish rather than merely survive.

That's the positive change I'm creating through my practice: helping individuals and families discover they're not broken or deficient—they're just planted in soil that hasn't yet learned to nurture their particular kind of growth.

What would it look like to shift from asking "What's wrong with me?" to "What's strong in me?" What if the very traits you've been told to fix are actually the seeds of your greatest contributions?

The rain dance begins with a single step: believing that growth is possible, that strengths exist even where others see only deficits, that belonging doesn't require changing who you are but finding where you fit.

If you're ready to explore the intersection of neurodivergence, family dynamics, and strengths-based growth, I'd love to connect. Learn more about my coaching practice at empowermentcoachingbyelyse.com or reach out directly at empowermentcoachingbyelyse@gmail.com.

For a deeper dive into the journey from marginalization to purpose, check out "Beyond the T-Shirt: A Journey from Labels to Liberation," on Amazon is over 20 countries.